I’m trying to paint a waterfall, which is easy enough for a 5 year old to do. The core of it is streaks of white paint flowing downward. But this particular waterfall is in Israel. It’s located in En Gedi, where David hid from Saul and wrote a few of the psalms. So what I’m trying to do is capture a spirit of deep reverence using a few abstract elements overlaid on the waterfall. There should be silver circles rising towards the golden sky, symbolizing music, as well as gold steps, symbolizing directionality towards heaven. Besides those elements, it would look like a waterfall.
It started off great, but then, I got distracted. Here’s a look at my internal process:
- “What SHOULD go in this corner up here?” (I’m trying to create rules where there aren’t any.)
- “Maybe I should try a different flow direction. How about this other angle?” (Waterfalls flow downwards. Simple concept. Why am I distracted by this new idea?)
- “Should I paint a person somewhere?” (Again, distraction with a new idea. Internal restlessness with what is very simple.)
- “What does it look like upside down?”, “What if I added orange?” (Facepalm. Also, FOMO, or the fear of missing out on a possible brilliant new idea.)
“Vania, you HAD a vision. It was ALREADY THERE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” (Since prayer and reflection are a major part of my painting process, I feel like God uses the process to teach me things.) With stubbornly veering off course with trying all this new stuff, I wound up with a mess. Colors and lines were there that shouldn’t be, making it look hastily slapped together. When you’re trying to make excellent art (or live your life with intentionality), hastily slapped together won’t cut it. That’s the opposite of living abundantly. It’s like eating fast food when you can have a mind-blowing, 4-course, 5-star meal cooked for you by Gordon Ramsay himself.
But what I’ve always loved about acrylic is that it’s easily… paint-over-able. If you don’t like what you’ve painted, you can wait for it to dry and paint over your mistakes. (You can also avoid some paint-overs by doing small color sketches first, but why do the sensible thing?)
I’m not done with the waterfall, but I’m in the process of getting back to the simple, original concept. It’s a deep blue and purple painting to create a sense of awe and mystery, with a majestic waterfall right in the center, surrounded by greenery and a few simple shapes.
I’ve been realizing that I’ve been complicating my creative practice in the last few years. I’ve been trying to bend to other people’s suggestions and requests, as well as my own efforts to be taken seriously, presenting a “professional” image. But the fact is, I originally started making art because (a) I had to go before God and process grief, and (b) showing the work became a starting point for vulnerable, honest conversations about life. That connection–between me and God first, and then me and others–is the simple concept. Other things got in the way over the years, like marketing strategies and business growth podcasts. Some of those are important, but they are not the thing.
If we find ourselves in messy, upended circumstances, sometimes it’s because we were complicating a simple thing. We let distractions, doubts, and even bad advice from well-meaning friends get in the way when God* was always leading us to something excellent. But thankfully, He’s able to paint over the mistakes and guide us back to the original intention.
*This is a reflection of my beliefs in my own faith journey. I understand that not everyone who reads this believes as I do. My hope is for you to pull insights and interpret what I write in a way that’s meaningful to you, while also respecting my beliefs. Thanks!
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