There’s a tiny comic book store across the street from my apartment. I stopped in there a few weeks ago to give the owner a signed copy of one of my comic book covers. He’s an older guy named Jim, and he calls the shop his “expensive retirement hobby.” I met him in 2021, when I first quit my job to go full-time into illustration.
My first time in the shop, I bought a graphic novel from Jim and said I was looking for inspiration. I felt nervous because I had just quit my job, and in the back of my mind, I wasn’t sure that buying a graphic novel was a wise decision because the reality of my unstable income was sinking in. Jim told me about how comic books were one of the things that’ve brought him joy since childhood. He hasn’t stopped being a nerd. Something about that conversation helped me feel more grounded, that I was on the right track. I told Jim, “I feel nervous about this decision to be a full-time artist, but I know I’ll regret it forever if I never at least give it a shot. It’s what I wanted since I was a kid. So I guess I’ll see where this takes me.”
Two years later (which was a few weeks ago), I asked Jim if he remembered me. It took him a moment to rack his brain, but the memory came back to him. I said, “I remember how nervous I was the first time I was here because I had just quit my job. But now I’m handing you a comic book from when I was a panelist at Comic Con!”
There are times when I’m hard on myself for not being further along in life, but it’s in moments like that when I realize I need to look back. Not only should I reflect more on how far I’ve come, but also on why I made the decision to do this. I do have a conviction about the value of my work–that it could potentially make a major difference in kids’ lives. I also did have client work lined up, as well as a financial cushion. But the straw that broke the camel’s back, the one kicker that got me to put in my notice was this thought: “I will regret not doing it at all more than trying it and failing.”
The reality of this life isn’t easy, and there are a lot of hard things I’ve had to navigate, but it’s deeply fulfilling. It’s helped me become a stronger, wiser person as I learn to adopt an “owner” mindset. It’s helped me see the strength in vulnerability, as I’ve had to ask smarter people for help. I also wound up doing way bigger things than I ever thought possible (seriously, Comic Con… the BIG one…). I do miss some of the stability that comes with a corporate job, but I know deep down… if I played it safe my whole life, I’d absolutely regret never having gone after the thing I really want.
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