Confession: I rarely ever feel like I belong — partly because it’s an enneagram 4 thing (always feeling flawed), but also because I’m bi-racial. It’s a life where I’m always straddling two cultures, and I’ve just accepted the tension of it. But when I met and worked with the film and art crew at Comic Con, I felt accepted for the first time in a long time. (We represented the first ever Filipino American superhero film and comic book series.) I didn’t have to prove I was “one of them.” The cast didn’t size me up or dismiss me because I’m not an actor. I was just swallowed up in a sea of hugs, smiling faces, and welcome. “Vania! You’re part of the family now!”
I was surprised to learn that the film came from the director’s response to being bullied. He wanted to use his interest and skills in film to bring some neighborhood kids together. It evolved over a decade, drawing some notable actors to the cast. He sent it through the film festival circuit, and soon enough, it made its way to premiering at Comic Con, the world’s largest nerd stage. He created something that gained attention, not because he’s special, but because it resonated with people. He’s a regular guy who made people feel seen.
Another regular guy I met happens to be one of my favorite actors. He’s not very well known but has had a few small roles over the years. His biggest and most recent role was an autobiographical film about his family. (See the Fabulous Filipino Brothers on Hulu!) He plays a socially awkward guy who rarely leaves his room because he’s depressed over his wife leaving him for someone else. I won’t give any spoilers, but basically, he meets a woman who’s also quirky, flawed, and had experienced similar rejection. When they meet, she has a monologue about just laying it all out there and being real (“The stupid apps, they lend themselves to lying…”). He eventually takes her back to meet his family and explains, “She sees me!”
I deeply resonated with both characters. I’m all too familiar with rejection. Like the guy in the movie, my process of bouncing back usually involves self-protecting and creating beautiful things… but also, for once, I do want to just be loved and accepted as I am, with my quirks, flaws, social awkwardness, and honest humanity. I’m really sick of the apps, and the swiping, and consumer culture that drives how we evaluate other human beings. …So I was able to talk to my actor friend and thank him for creating a film to show me a picture of that possibility—where people are just real with each other. I‘d love to live in a world where realness and honesty are actually valued. It’s not currently my reality, but it’s a beautiful picture.
We, the creatives at Comic Con, are not special. We’re the misfits who were rejected as kids and want to show people a kinder world as adults. One where everyone is seen, loved, and valued for who they are. That even outcasts and misfits like us have a role in making the world a better place.
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